Have you learned from the tasks that everyday life has thrown at you? Do you see what life has to offer as challenges, but approach them as openings? If so, I bet you'll learn from your experience. However, use defenses to explain the circumstances or rather be a bystander in life if on the other hand you are more inclined to judge yourself or others.
I know we can't take the blame for everything that happens in life. But just because you can't accept blame doesn't mean you can assign it to someone else. Why give them control over the situation? the effects are there, but it's up to each of us to use those effects to our advantage whenever possible and take control of our lives. It is our responsibility to use whatever tools are available to us to achieve the requirements we set, regardless of handicap.
Meet Sam. Sam led a hard life. She left home at a young age, lived on the roads, yet managed to get the most out of her life. She went to council, earned several degrees and has a successful career in banking. Sam learned life's tasks and paid attention to them. unlike Andrew. Andrew also didn't have it easy growing up, but rather allowed his circumstances to support his desire to achieve and succeed, rather than limit them. He focused on how rough his teenage life had been, how unfairly they had treated him and how much they owed him for their wrong. It must be said that Andrew did not experience success. In fact, just when the effects look like they're about to turn for him, Andrew's station becomes an arsenal of tonal sabotage. Andrew has completely learned the art of assigning blame, but not the task of taking responsibility for himself. For now, Andrew seems relatively comfortable living his life at the end of a puppeteer's strings rather than controlling his own fortune. Isn't it funny how two people raised in the same house with the same influences react to analogous situations? So are you Sam or Andy? How do you react to the effects that life throws at you? If you find yourself wondering how you got to this point in your life, or wondering how to get to another point, ask yourself if you've ever been a driver or a passenger. There is a saying, "there is no such thing as an accident." I don't believe that effects are only dropped "intentionally", but I do believe that the effects that manifest in life are not just that. We have the power to take control of our lives by accepting responsibility for what emerges and using each experience as a tool for literacy. Step on the gas and more success will follow. So I'll leave you with just one piece of advice, V-ROOM!